The adoption process is not something that can really be compared to anything else. It is not an event, not a sprint to the finish line after a fast, hard run, it is not easy. It is a marathon that teaches you faith, patience, and the art of letting go. I have to have faith that I WILL be a mom and I will eventually be blessed enough to meet our baby. I have to have patience with the half-century old program in South Korea that has been consistent and predictable (as predictable as international adoption can be) and patience with the TWO governments that I am praying will work QUICKLY (insert laughs here). The biggest lesson of all? Letting go. Letting go of my need to control everything, my need to know everything, and my need to try and facilitate this process. In reality, all of the things that I had control over, are finished. Our part, for now, is finished. I have no control anymore, and that is a very unsettling feeling for people like me!!
So our wait continues. Our wait for monthly email updates that never come fast enough. Our wait for any bit of information about anything related to adoption. Our wait for our referral, which I have come to realize will be a few more months before it comes. The latest update email said that they expect around 13-14 more referrals between here and July 1 of next year. They may come 3-4 at a time, or they may come 1or 2 at a time. There may be months where no referrals come. So, being number 11 on the list equals our referral most likely will come next year some time. Reminding myself that it is already October, and that we have two vacations AND our anniversary (5 years!!) AND two major holidays AND several family birthdays to celebrate between here and next year will certainly make the next few months fly by, and when all of those vacations, celebrations, birthdays, and holidays are finished, it will be February. And we will be that much closer to our baby. For some reason, the past week or two the wait and the impatience has intensified for me. It has become very difficult. I cannot WAIT for the rush of the holidays to tunnel my thoughts into other things for a while. I just have to remember my faith, my patience, and my newfound willingness to let go. Thank you all for your support of our family and our plan....we appreciate it more than we can ever express. :)
So our wait continues. Our wait for monthly email updates that never come fast enough. Our wait for any bit of information about anything related to adoption. Our wait for our referral, which I have come to realize will be a few more months before it comes. The latest update email said that they expect around 13-14 more referrals between here and July 1 of next year. They may come 3-4 at a time, or they may come 1or 2 at a time. There may be months where no referrals come. So, being number 11 on the list equals our referral most likely will come next year some time. Reminding myself that it is already October, and that we have two vacations AND our anniversary (5 years!!) AND two major holidays AND several family birthdays to celebrate between here and next year will certainly make the next few months fly by, and when all of those vacations, celebrations, birthdays, and holidays are finished, it will be February. And we will be that much closer to our baby. For some reason, the past week or two the wait and the impatience has intensified for me. It has become very difficult. I cannot WAIT for the rush of the holidays to tunnel my thoughts into other things for a while. I just have to remember my faith, my patience, and my newfound willingness to let go. Thank you all for your support of our family and our plan....we appreciate it more than we can ever express. :)
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