This is where the blog and the waiting combine and become dangerous! Unfortunately all of you who read this will now be subject to my thoughts when I decide to blog randomly. Sorry in advance!! I have thought A LOT this weekend...it really is funny how things change on the weekends. Monday through Friday, for the past 11 days or so, the house phone and the cell phone are within arm's reach AT ALL TIMES. Just in case. Friday night comes, and the phones mysteriously end up laying on the coffee table until Monday morning. There is no urgency to "have the phone" on the weekends, since the agency is closed and we know no one will call us from there. It is true what they say; you look forward to the weekend because you can relax and know that you will not get a phone call, but you dread the weekend because you know that you will not get a phone call. I know I have a lot more waiting to do, but I definitely feel that saying coming true already.
I have also been thinking a lot about our baby's birthmother. Even though through international adoption there is rarely, if ever, openness so that both parties know who the other is and exchange pictures and even visits, there is still a birthmother involved. If you let yourself, you can almost forget about the birthmother, because she does not pick the family that the baby is referred to, she does not know when or where the baby is adopted, she knows nothing starting at several hours after delivery. She recovers from the delivery and goes home. No one notifies her when the baby is brought to a loving family. No one updates her on how the baby is growing and changing. I really started to feel that, in international adoption, birthmothers are sort of forgotten. The joyful adoptive parents go to pick up a baby that was spontaneously generated and now is theirs? Not exactly, but lots of adoptive parents start out trying to think this way. It makes me very sad to realize this, because without this woman who carries and gives birth to our child, and carefully makes an adoption plan for our child, we would not become parents to that child. I may never know who she is, or what she looks like, what she likes and doesn't like, but I pray for her and for the child she is almost certainly carrying right now who is our child. I pray for a healthy pregnancy, a healthy delivery, and most of all a sense of peace about the adoption plan she has made so that the child can be part of a family. Our family. I have asked you all for your prayers for us, for our process, but I have to ask you for prayers for our birthmother. Please pray for her and all that she must be going through right now.
Hopefully we will have another update email from our agency in a couple of weeks....maybe three weeks at the most. I can't wait to see how many referrals came this month!!!! Love you all...thanks for your support and love!
I have also been thinking a lot about our baby's birthmother. Even though through international adoption there is rarely, if ever, openness so that both parties know who the other is and exchange pictures and even visits, there is still a birthmother involved. If you let yourself, you can almost forget about the birthmother, because she does not pick the family that the baby is referred to, she does not know when or where the baby is adopted, she knows nothing starting at several hours after delivery. She recovers from the delivery and goes home. No one notifies her when the baby is brought to a loving family. No one updates her on how the baby is growing and changing. I really started to feel that, in international adoption, birthmothers are sort of forgotten. The joyful adoptive parents go to pick up a baby that was spontaneously generated and now is theirs? Not exactly, but lots of adoptive parents start out trying to think this way. It makes me very sad to realize this, because without this woman who carries and gives birth to our child, and carefully makes an adoption plan for our child, we would not become parents to that child. I may never know who she is, or what she looks like, what she likes and doesn't like, but I pray for her and for the child she is almost certainly carrying right now who is our child. I pray for a healthy pregnancy, a healthy delivery, and most of all a sense of peace about the adoption plan she has made so that the child can be part of a family. Our family. I have asked you all for your prayers for us, for our process, but I have to ask you for prayers for our birthmother. Please pray for her and all that she must be going through right now.
Hopefully we will have another update email from our agency in a couple of weeks....maybe three weeks at the most. I can't wait to see how many referrals came this month!!!! Love you all...thanks for your support and love!
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